whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
