Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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