addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
