im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Dick very happy bro
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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