I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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