Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
