I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
