NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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