is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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