I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Omg I joined a choir last night...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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