After last night, I could never be a politician.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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