dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
