You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
