Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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