Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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