he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
