Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
