Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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