yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
