i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
