Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
you made out with another girl for some wings
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
