is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Can you bring me the toilet please
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
