I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
