My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
only you would photoshop your dick
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
