my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
