dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
