anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I think I just sharted jello shots
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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