she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
