yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
