Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize