no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Randomize
