He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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