Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
