from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize