who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
