Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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