im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
