I'm jealous of your bromance
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
