One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
