the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
