i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
