your room smells of hookers.
And success
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
