she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
