are you still at the devil's house?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
