I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
