Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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