Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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