Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
