Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
