I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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