If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
