Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
