This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
