well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
