Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
