atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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