I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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