the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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