I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
