He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
