She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
