he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
