didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
