i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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