you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
