Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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