I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
