thus making me awesome and them whores
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I need moral support for this bender
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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