would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
