It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
