She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
