Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
