I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
