she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
