And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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