I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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